Intoxicated by my Illness, Anatole Broyard, 1992
Recommended by Gawande in his By the Book interview and with an introduction written by Oliver Sacks, this group of essays, notes, and short story written by a New York Times book reviewer and literary critic is a must read for physicians. Broyard wrote the short story “What the Cystoscope Said” when his father was dying of bladder cancer in 1948. It’s raw and wrenching, but is an excellent frame setter for his own illness writing when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1989 and died 18 months later. The most powerful piece is the eponymous essay in which he discusses how the diagnosis and knowledge of impending mortality sharpened his focus as a writer and being. He urges the ill person to create a narrative rich with metaphors, to adopt a style and to aggressively keep the self intact and alive in the face of death. His essay on “The Patient Examines the Doctor” should be a must reading for all physicians in training. Broyard wants his doctor to brood on his illness and to develop a ‘beautiful relationship’ with him around his care despite the fact that “…my illness is a routine incident in his rounds, while for me it’s the crisis of my life’. He quotes Walter Benjamin’s comment about the importance of dying well in “love at last sight’ describing the importance for those who remain. Broyard’s goal was to stay alive until he died, and he apparently did so according to his wife’s epilogue. This is a book worth reading and savoring both for the doctor and for those of us who will inevitably be the patient.